Most of us have found ourselves on the wrong end of a breakup in our lives. It is a miserable feeling when the person you love ends your relationship and no longer wants to be with you. However, a breakup does not mean it is over forever. In many cases, if specific issues are remedied, the relationship still has a chance of being successful. If you want to know how to get your ex back after a breakup, read on.
Generic advice about how to get your ex back never works. Every relationship is a little different, and the key to reconciliation is addressing the specific issues that caused your relationship to end. Showing up with flowers and a teary-eyed apology rarely enough. If there is a specific condition that caused the split, that condition must be remedied if the union has a chance.
The Cold, Hard Truth
People often fool themselves to protect their egos. This is especially common with regard to getting dumped by a lover. We tend to make up reasons that make the blow easier to take. This might be easier on your feelings, but it will not help you figure out how to get your ex back. You need to know exactly what caused him or her to call it quits so you can correct the issue. If you are not willing to swallow what may be an awfully bitter pill, it is unlikely that you will be able to get a second chance to make things work.
If you want to know exactly why the relationship failed, do not ask your former lover ask a close friend and demand the truth. Your ex will likely sugarcoat things to spare your feelings. The people on the periphery of a relationship are usually the ones who see it most clearly. When you ask a friend of yours (or theirs) about the cause of the split, be prepared for the answer. It usually is not pretty. The hard thing about figuring out how to get your ex back is facing the naked truth about the breakup.
An Earnest Effort
Like the old saying goes; talk is cheap. The secret obsession book explains that making an endless stream of promises to work on key issues typically falls short of being convincing. On the other hand, if your former sees you making a concerted effort to remedy the issues that pulled you apart, reconciliation is more likely. You must be willing to put your actions where your mouth is otherwise you are just making empty promises.
The first thing you must understand when learning how to get your ex back is that it usually will not happen overnight. If there are some real problems to address, working through them will take time. Be prepared to exercise some patients and set realistic expectations for the reconciliation process. It may not go smoothly at first, so you have to be willing to stick it out and suffer a few setbacks.
The key to the process is being honest, sincere and committed to the process. This will make an impression on your lover, and if there is a real chance of getting back together, it is these qualities that will facilitate it.